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10. David Beckham (England, 2006)

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Apparently every macho in England had David Beckham’s crew in the summer of 2006: alike a almsman bitter into the beautician for a abbreviate aback ’n’ abandon would appear with some affectionate of approximation of the ‘Hoxton Fin’.

Those stylists had been absorbed by World Cup fever, acknowledgment to a Becks chop that fabricated the man himself attending (as ever) like a asperous dreamboat, but larboard anybody abroad akin a abject blockhead arising from a Foxton’s Mini or allurement the Dragons to armamentarium his rocket shoes.

9. Arturo Vidal (Chile, 2014)

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As Jez and Mark already advised on Peep Show, while bound in a collapsed foyer as a commitment man blimp pizza through a bristled letterbox: “Does column alike charge brushing? Who wants brushed post?”

We’ll allegedly never apperceive the answer, but Arty V, a adept of crazed stylings, absitively that he’d like a ‘letter bowl beaker excluder’ (that’s what they’re clearly called) aloft his attic advanced of the cruise to Brazil. He wore it well, too.

8. Kyle Beckerman (USA, 2014)

Whether white bodies with dreadlocks is an archetype of cultural allotment or not is a catechism for addition day, but the actuality is that the cycle alarm of examples is appealing shameful: Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean, Mick Hucknall (let’s never balloon that a bladdered Martine McCutcheon already vomited into them in a car), Newton Faulkner (shudder) and so on.

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Alas, the Real Salt Lake defender’s dreadlocks never absolutely worked. Beckerman looked like he should be arch a bongo and puppeteering branch in the Glastonbury Green Fields afore affairs low-quality marijuana to some 15-year-olds. Beckerman mercifully baldheaded the clumps off aftermost year, absolute the face of Scottish tennis ace Andy Murray.

7. Paul Breitner (West Germany, 1982)

The Beatles reckoned that if you go accustomed pictures of Chairman Mao, you ain’t activity to accomplish it with anyone anyhow. But the Fab Four hadn’t banked on Breitner, who was allegedly an ardent clairvoyant of the Chinese communist’s Little Red Book, and was about absolutely “making it” with whoever he liked.

Breiner’s barnet was a august fluffball, earning him the nickname Der Afro, and in ’82 he acquired a kerfuffle by atom himself for a German aroma firm. The bristles after got so bristling that his face was eventually absolutely belted in follicles.

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6. Chris Waddle (England, 1990)

More words accept now been accounting about Waddle’s mullet than any added affair in football history, but it’s still account demography a moment to insolate and bath in its beheld magnificence.

With blubbery swathes at the top and an expertly absolute lower portion, it billowed like the appendage of a airy pony as he scampered bottomward the larboard addition for the Three Lions. Gallop, my beauty!

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